my heart isn't in this

god, if i felt stagnant before....i feel like this is an elaborate joke, and i'm supposed to start laughing with everyone else in a minute, but no one's quite gotten it yet and so it's just hanging there in the air like a fart no one wants to own up to. four more years. my generation will be able to say we lived through the bush era. age 18-26 spent under a red cloud of sexism, homophobia, and blind fear and sticktoitiveness that is killing people and will contnue to kill people. if you're reading this and you voted for bush, i would love to talk to you. i want to figure this out. i mean, am i missing something? sure, kerry sucked but wasn't he at least better than bush? i just want to know what happened. i mean all these new voters, young voters--everyone predicted they were all coming out for kerry. why didn't they? i hate to say it but i suspect foul play, sort of. how else is this possible? voter suppression tactics were showing up all over the place yesterday, and i just wonder if we are now reaping the spoils of others' bigotry. i am disgusted and depressed and i need a vacation. but now i feel like i can't leave. i know i said i was moving to canada, but i can't really justify leaving this country now, when there's so much work to be done. maybe i am a headstrong liberal and i'm way out of my league. but when a state that i live in and love so much and believe in does something like pass an amendment to the state constitution depriving half my friends the right to live together, love each other, and feel secure in any way, then i would be irresponsible if i didn't say i was up to that challenge. bring it on, america. life is too short to spend it being repressed. now i'm going to go lock myself in my bathroom, draw a hot bubble bath, put on some pete seeger, and try to find something to have faith in.

at least the pistons won....