snow day!

why is it that no matter how many times i post, my word count always stays at 0? talk about making a girl feel insignificant.

so, snow day today! working at a school means i get all the fun benefits i got as a 4th grader--snow days, half days, parent-teacher conferences, spring break, summer vacation! who says having a 9-5 job is more fulfilling? i never have to grow up!

i guess the time has come to set down some resolutions for the coming year. setting goals has never been a priority with me, and i actually find i prefer not knowing what to do sometimes--it's comforting to just live life moment to moment. because as soon as i start planning ahead, i become an adult, a penny-pincher, ultra-maternal, and super stressed with my time. if i'm relaxed it's because i am okay with whatever happens and i have faith in my uncanny ability to come out on top (even if it takes a while). BUT. i have begun to realize that it is pretty selfish to treat others in a laid-back fashion--that is, it doesn't leave a great impression if i live moment to moment in my friendships. relationships (any and every kind) take work and stamina and generosity, but most of all, you gotta pay attention to the other person--what their needs are, what makes them happy, and behave in a way that pleases you both. relationships take planning. big lesson learned from 2004. but, i'm getting ahead of myself.

Things in 2004 that were great:

1. PCAP. joining this organization changed the way i look at the world and others. i have never grown so much in the presence of such amazing and committed people. and while it hasn't always been easy, i know that every second i spent on the Art Show, Exec, and my workshops has been worth it. maybe more worth it than anything else i had accomplished up until then. i know i'm going to stick around this group for a long time.

2. Vagina Monologues. oh...man. talk about an amazing experience. those women, those words, that message...i've never been a part of something so powerful. it was such a challenge because i've always been so afraid of women (don't ask me why, i just always felt more comfortable around guys). but by the end, i was blown away by the power of our voices. and if nothing else, getting to be directed by susie schutt, who will one day go on to make millions of people happier and better, was an honor all its own.

3. Dinner With Friends. getting to direct four of your closest friends, not to mention four of the best actors you know, in a pulitzer prize-winning show, senior year, in the RC Aud one last time, impressing your mother in a way she didn't think possible, feeling like you've finally tasted real pride? oh hell yeah.

4. graduating--super fun. i felt really happy this day, despite all the tears at the rc ceremony.

5. Michigan Theater. you know, even if it is boring sometimes, this is still the best job i've ever had. i mean, shit. free food, free beer, free movies? plus i met brian wilson, john hiatt, and steve earle. and came damn close to meeting ryan adams. AND soon...soon...i will meet conor oberst and elvis costello. *sigh* i heart michtheater. angelaa.....

6. 439 division #1. as much as i fucking hated the upstairs neighbors, and as many issues as we all had, i adored this house. and i miss my housies!

7. rudolf steiner--miss temptation--pickle? fasterest isn't a word. i'm inept! exactly--you can't lose! gee, you know all about plants and stuff...i love these kids.

ok this could go on forever. i think those were the big good changes.

so, i made a list of things that sucked, but then realized, i don't really want to post them here, for a lot of different reasons. suffice it to say, plenty sucked about last year, especially the second half, but hopefully the issues that are still spiraling around my life will settle down once i apply the following resolutions to my character and actions:

drumroll please.

2005 New Year's Resolutions:

i WILL:

*continue to save money and cease giving in to the feeling that i have to spend my tips immediately because it's free money. make fewer, larger purchases instead of lots of small, alcoholic ones. saving three dollars a night means almost ten a week--which means in a month i will have enough to buy that record player i've been wanting!

*cultivate lasting relationships by keeping in touch with old friends and not being afraid to make new ones.

*be supportive of my mother and understanding of michael.

*be on time to work at least 50% of the time (hey, even resolutions have to be reasonable)

*catalog my cds and take better care of them. upload them onto my iPod.

*keep my apartment clean and cozy, spend time at home.

*cook fabulous vegetarian feasts and experiment with fun recipes.

*listen to more talk radio and keep abreast of world events.

i WILL NOT:

*get wasted beyond recognition, but rather drink sociably and thus will not only help liver but also wallet.

*snack on popcorn at work. cherry coke, twix bars, and popcorn do not a balanced meal make, even if popcorn is a vegetable (what, it's corn!)

*eat out so often.

*wander into border's on the set break and spend $50 at a time on books i could have either borrowed, bought used, or never seen again and not have been sorry.

*get sucked into watching sex and the city reruns on on demand and waste an entire day, but rather choose one or two episodes, and then systematically turn off the tv and move on to other things. thus--no guilt. thus--a guilty pleasure becomes just a pleasure.

*listen to nothing but awful, forgettable pop songs and then curse the radio for sucking so hard.

*spend hours writing self-important blogs when i should be working.

*hang out with people out of habit but rather make careful decisions about what i want to do with my time, and act responsibly and accordingly.

*do any drugs. (not that i ever really do. but it's a good habit, right?)

Long Term Goals for 2005:

Road trip to Salt Lake City, Austin, and California. (might have to pick one/narrow those down)
Visit Onny AND Melissa in Pittsburgh.
Visit EJ in DC.
Visit Graham in NYC.
Visit Pat AND Stevie in Chicago.
Be able to afford my own place by the end of the year.
Find a lasting job that pays better with health benefits.

ok, this got boring. but look at all the planning i just did!

i'm going to go make lunch.