Wednesday, October 27

lunar eclipse tonight

starts at 9:15 gets best at 10:25-11:45.

so go outside.


At a Lunar Eclipse

By Thomas Hardy


Thy shadow, Earth, from Pole to Central Sea,
Now steals along upon the Moon's meek shine
In even monochrome and curving line
Of imperturbable serenity.

How shall I link such sun-cast symmetry
With the torn troubled form I know as thine,
That profile, placid as a brow divine,
With continents of moil and misery?

And can immense Mortality but throw
So small a shade, and Heaven's high human scheme
Be hemmed within the coasts yon arc implies?

Is such the stellar gauge of earthly show,
Nation at war with nation, brains that teem,
Heroes, and women fairer than the skies?

Tuesday, October 26

sitting at work...

i got this email from my lovely friend, the lovely susannah schutt. she loves these things. i like them. by which i mean i love them. so much so that i am also adding a few of my favorite questions from another lovely friend of mine, from an email he sent a long long time ago, and i'm stealing a lot of his answers because they're stupendously funny. so his questions will be italicized. did i mention i'm at work and bored out of my skull?

1.   What time is it?
4:40 PM.

1. full name?
carol catherine burns gray.

2.   Name as it appears on birth certificate:
Carol Catherine Danger Burns Gray

2.  what color pants are you wearing now?  blue (jeans). i think they are supposed to be "distressed" or something.

3.   Nicknames:
Care, Barol, Bean, Too-Slim, Bob, Carol Flynn, Clairol

3.  what are you listening to?  a music lesson--i think lee criso is playing the clarinet, sounds like. the typety type of kids on computer lab keyboards. faint shouts from outside. the voices in my head.

4.   Parents names:
John Edward Gray and Laurie Lucile Burns

4.  what was your last meal? lady grey tea with milk and sugar, a toasted blueberry bagel with cream cheese, apple cider

5.   Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake?
21.

6.   Date you regularly blow them out?  
March 17-25.

5.  do you wish on stars?  yes. well, actually no. but i would.

6.  if you were a crayon what color would you be? turquoise.

7.   Height:  
5'10" or 5'11"

7.  how is the weather right now?  cloudy and crummy. warmer than it looks. brisk. (good word susie! very british.)

8.   Eye Color:
it varies. you could call them blue or grey. you could also call them toast, if you like. labels are unimportant.

8.  who was the last person you talked to on the phone?  
my boss at the michigan theater, tara.

9.   Hair Color:  
Filthy Blonde. Mousy Brown.

9.  do you like the person who sent you this?  
abso-fucking-lutely

10.  Piercing(s):  
Ears.

10.  how old are you today?  
21...haven't we covered this? oh right, i'm filling out two at once. is this the most ridiculous thing ever? just tell me, i'll shut up. ok too late

11.  Tattoos:
Your face...on my heart.

11.  favorite drink?  
cranberry juice, probably. beer is tasty too.but if i say beer first then i am a lush. cranberry juice is healthy and...oh who am i kidding, beer

12.  How much do you love your job on a linear scale of 1-10, one being the least, ten the best:
well, i'll go in order:
rudolf steiner: 10
michigan theater: 8.5
emerson (where i am right now): 5
hmm...reverse those numbers and that's how much i get paid per hour at each job. roughly. *sigh*

12.  favorite sport?  
MICHIGAN BASKETBALL.

13.  Birthplace:
Ann Arbor, Mi.
14.  Hometown:
Ann Arbor, Mi.
15.  Current Residence:
I am so damn boring.

14.  do you wear contacts?  
nope.

15.  any siblings?  
two: charlie, 19 and margaret, 13.

16.  Had your heart broken?
is this a trick question?

16.  favorite food?  
i love food. thanksgiving (good one susie), also broccoli and pineapple.

**ran out of time in the lab, so i'm finishing this the next day at home.**
**isn't this fun???**

17.  Been in love before?
Never enough.

17.  last movie you watched?  
shaun of the dead, and it was AWESOME

18.  Been to Africa?  
that's a country, right?

18.  favorite day of the year?  
thanksgiving (susie now i know why we are such good friends), the warm days in autumn, the first snow day, the last day of school (hmm...not sure if this applies to me anymore...)

19.  Been to Vegas?
oooh.....las vegas ain't no place for a poor girl like me.

19.  what do you do to vent anger?  
drink, drive (not at the same time), argue out loud with the mirror (is that weird?) (don't answer that), stare sullenly into space

20.  Been toileted papered?
My body was once entirely covered. I was the "Toilet Mummy." I was four.

20.  summer or winter?
i love my idealized version and hate the reality of both. (yes susie yes) but in truth i like winter best. it is easier and more fun to warm up. also in winter it feels like my life is a record that is finally being turned over.

21.  Loved somebody so much it made you cry?  
My family.

21.  hugs or kisses?  hugs

22.  Been in a car accident?
considering the number of dents in my car, i am somewhat surprised to say no. that is to say, none of them were my fault. i have been hit a number of times, but i wouldn't really call them car accidents. um...i'm a great driver, next question.

22.  chocolate or vanilla?  
chocolate mostly. although lately i've been craving plain old vanilla ice cream. and you know what is great that is not great with chocolate? vanilla soft serve with rainbow sprinkles.

23.  Croutons or Bacon Bits?
On the side.

24.  Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?  
Hellman's all the way. Miracle Whip is whipped bullshit.

25.  Coke or Pepsi?  
Jigga please.

26.  Car - 2 or 4 door?
Four!!!

27.  Sprite or 7-up?
sierra mist!

26.  what are your living arrangements?
my mother sleeps one room over and i still have to pay rent.

27.  last time you cried?  
this morning, actually. i spilled the milk.

28.  What is your occupation?  
I'm occupied by my thoughts.

28.  what is under your bed?  
old socks, dust bunnies, hopefully my green tank top and my car keys also

29.  Favorite Color?  
I'm going to conform to the rest of America and say blue, but sometimes I dream in green.

29.  who is the friend you've had the longest?
jedd cohen. (sorry emily and onny, cyndi etsler trumps sandy pollack)

30.  In what do you sleep?
The Raw (that's malinsky's answer...) i don't know, old t-shirts, boxers, flannel nightshirts. i don't like wearing pants to bed and i always kick my socks off in the middle of the night. you wish you knew me.

30.  favorite smell?  
thanksgiving (trend?), boy smell, cut grass, leaves, winter, chanel allure

31a.  Favorite Movie?  
A Hard Day's Night
31b.  Worst movie ever?
Pearl Harbor. i felt physically unclean after watching it.
31c.  Most sedating movie?
The Winslow Boy (I love David Mamet, but dizzamn, I cannot watch this movie....)

31.  what inspires you?  
my father, my mother, j.d. salinger, yeats, vachel lindsay, sunshine

32.  Favorite Holiday?
Thanksgiving WHAT

32.  favorite flower?  
daylilies or...i guess just daylilies. oh, and peach-colored roses.

33.  number of key on your key ring?  
three--house, car, neighbor's house

34.  Favorite word or phrase?
Awe seeix. can do! "and then i was all..." .....does impulsive laughter count?

34.  can you juggle?  
actually, yes--and bowling pins at that.

35.  Favorite toothpaste?  
ColGATE

36.  favorite day of the week?  
saturday--it's nestled so nicely between friday and sunday

36.  Favorite Restaurant?
right now, the Northside Grill.

37.  what did you do on your last birthday?
hmm. had a big dinner party at my house with my best friends and family, then went to ABC and drank enough beer to make doing shots of 151 at the arena afterwards seem like a great idea. the rest, shall we say, is history.

38.  the # of states you've lived in?  
1...2...3. bavaria is a state, right?

39.  the # of cities you've lived in?  
5 (exeter, NH; munich, ann arbor, elk rapids, berlin)

40.  Preferred type of ice cream?  
Peppermint. with butterscotch sauce please.

40.  the # of cars owned?  
1.

41.  the 1st car you had?  
my dented, ugly, smelly, red '97 mercury sable.

42.  where were you born?  
university of michigan hospital, ann arbor, MI

42.  Disney/Warner Bros?
If they fought, who would win - Mickey or Batman? (i think this is also malinsky's answer)

43.  Favorite Fast Food Restaurant?  
Taco Bell. hey, if you're gonna eat disgusting food, go for it all the way man. none of that 6 grams of fat bullshit.

44.  What color is your bedroom carpet?  
no carpet right now, actually. it will be grey eventually.

45.  How many times did you fail your permit or drivers license test?
I'm not at liberty to frigging say. go soak your head.

47.  Have you been convicted of a crime?
I stole a kiss once.  I'm still on probation. ( oh this one HAS to be malinsky) :)

48.  In which single store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Border's. or Restoration Hardware.

49.  What do you do most often when you are bored?
Read...organize CDs...eat.....fill out online surveys...

50.  Friend that lives the farthest away?
Jesus. (malinksy) (he's not jesus, but he wrote that)

51.  Bedtime?  
6 am or so

54.  What is your favorite U2 song?
*sharp intake of breath* this is a toughie. i think Bad maybe. i am looking forward to their new album SO much.

55.  Better Steven Page creation: "In the Car" or "Break Your Heart?"
Unanswerable...they are both works of genius. I think I'd go with Break your heart though, simply because the live version is just so good.

56.  For what are you most thankful?
Loose skin on my elbows, so that I may bend my arms. (malinsky) And you.

55.  What time is it?  
12:36 pm, two days after i started this ridiculous post. god i'm sorry if you just read all that. you would have to be so much more bored than me.

in the house of the rising sun...

is not where i am because this is the second day in a row i haven't woken up until 1. and today it's cloudy. dammit. i was supposed to volunteer this morning for MoveOn Pac, the partisan splinter organization dedicated to removing George Bush from office. i think i would rather just make sure people vote. i mean, i will not vote for bush, but i feel weird going door to door and guilting people into listening to me tell them why they should also not vote for bush. *sigh*

i need to find my halloween costume, STAT!

i think i'll start ending sentences like that more often. like, "damn, i'm hungry, i want some burgers, STAT!" "shit, i'm out of gas, i should go get some more STAT!" "fuck, you need a workout plan, honey...STAT!"

i would never say any of those things.

currently spinning: sweet jane, the velvet underground

Monday, October 25

stop me if you've heard this one before

today is a gorgeous day. i love waking up late, after the air has already warmed up and the sky is already blue, and pretending i have the whole day stretching ahead of me, when really i have to go to work in an hour. the leaves are so frigging pretty today! maybe i'll be a leaf for halloween. oh, but i have to be daphne. a few of my friends tackled me (figuratively) this weekend and forced me to be daphne from scooby doo with them. sarah rubin is going to be velma, ryan will be the hot blond guy, alex wagner is gonna be shaggy, and his roommate is going to be scooby. it seems a bit dated or cliche or something. but it was either that or golden girls. or i was also going to be daryl hannah from kill bill 2. but i think i'd just end up looking like a dominatrix with an eyepatch. which is i guess what she is or something. but no one was going to do kill bill with me, so i would have felt self conscious in leather pants. you need backup for leather pants.

so my plans this year for the vagina monologues are receiving some backlash. i want to cast--wait for it-- ONLY SIX WOMEN!! yes yes i know it's radical, considering the past five years have had casts of like 30, but for god's sake, it's time for a change. the show was written for three women. i mean damn. i don't know why i brought this up. last night i told the executive committee, which consists of sixteen glaring and silent girls who don't care that i know what i'm doing...i mean, i got up and announced what i was planning, attaching the caveat that i had, in fact, thought about this long and hard and that yes, i did understand the power of having 30 women on stage, but that actually, after long and careful deliberation, this seemed like the best option considering the show has been the same for five years, and that yes, i did understand the fact that ticket sales and auditions would be affected, but that i was working on it. five hands went in the air. "have you even thought about ticket sales?" "how would we publicize auditions?" "um, but like, what about the power of an ensemble cast? i mean i've seen it with three women and it kind of sucks like that." "have you thought about ticket sales?"

...

sometimes i think the whole world is against me. not really the whole world. just the Vagina Monologues exec board. *sigh*

i guess i should go to work.

currently spinning: what's so funny ('bout peace love and understanding), elvis costello

tabula rasa

i am feeling pressure to make this the best first post ever. eek! i hope this isn't stupid.

i recently decided that my life needs more direction. graduating from college has added a new perspective to my life, one of utter and total panic. i mean, i graduated with a german degree and am currently living with my mother and working three part time jobs. i'm also volunteering like mad. essentially i am trying to block out the panicked voice in my head ("you have no money! you spend it all on bars and clothes! you are never going to move out of your mother's house! your hair looks terrible!") by filling all of my time with responsibilities. not a good idea, considering i am quite lazy and almost always late. to everything. damn you michigan time...i will always think i have those extra ten minutes!

i guess here's the part where i tell you WHAT i do...ok i work in an after school program at an elementary school, i am the assistant director of the drama club at a local high school, i sell popcorn and tickets and organize a children's theater series at the Michigan Theater (local non-profit movie theater), and i volunteer with PCAP (the prison creative arts project) and am directing the Vagina Monologues for the 2005 V-Day College Campaign for the University of Michigan. oh god that's a lot isn't it? nevermind, i don't want to talk about this anymore.

i recently became single again, though i don't think i am ready to use that term because it sounds so happy and frivolous and i don't really feel happy and frivolous about being single. i am in the "shit, what just happened to the last two and a half years of my life?" phase right now. hopefully soon i will progress into the "fuck, what just happened to the last ___ months of my life that i just spent wondering what happened to the past two and a half years of my life?" phase and then i'll snap the hell out of it.

what else...i love living with my mom, by the way. but not as much as i will enjoy living in my lovely apartment on third street with my lovely friend emily. we are going to burn the house down, figuratively. why are all the awesome metaphors about destruction? not that that's THAT awesome of a metaphor. i just used the word ~that~ three times in a row. *sigh*

i am banking on the hope that someday i won't be so weird.